I go through the daily browse of msn and aol. I havn't clicked on any article. It really is a different way of telling me what to do with things I already know. Personally, I think some people are just pissed at my thinking out loud thoughts in a counseled frame of issues. It is really another karma game in disguise.
It is how I am framed to look: I feel people are once again trying to use even the workplace to say I match the details of an abused woman. Ok, I am an abused woman, but I still feel that some ridiculous person wants me to be the scapegoat for my abuse. They are trying to prove that I really want the lifestyle of it all. I'm sick of the rigging and the forced pigeon-holing and lack of credit for how I am right.
I don't put up with any abuse that the people in the workplace try to give. Not only do I not put up with it, I am rigged out of the opportunity to have a say.
I apply for multiple numbers of of other jobs. I am smart enough to know when it is time to leave. What people do not understand is the reality: Not many job opportunities, unreliant state unemployment check, and that my debt prevents me from moving elsewhere. I still say people are pretty unfair and give no real acknowledgement to my reality. The negative argument that usually continues after that is people want to know too much. They want to know more about my personal life and be the boss of that as well when it isn't their business.
Even though I am in misery right now, I wish I had more opportunity and chance to make more of myself while I am waiting for a better life. Right now, I'm not going to say that there is definitely someone that I have to wait for. But, I refuse to settle with the life I have now. I really would rather stay determined and wait for something better than make great effort to adapt and adjust and doggishly beg for anyone to be in my life right now. I'd rather continue to be alone right now.
I wish I didn't have more financial problems because of already planned job rigging. I wish I had better opportunity to save money. I wish that even if I did find a job that is low on the totem pole that I would have reasonable management that would make better effort to get along and put in a good word for me when I left. It's not that I'm a lazy bum. I can handle having a simple job, but its having to deal with the ridiculous management/rigging/communism that I have a serious issue with.
